As the school
year marches onward and I find myself engaged in discussions concerning
activities for National Anti-Bullying Week (4/8 /13– 4/12/13), I began
wondering about acceptance and tolerance. It just so happened that I recently
received an email from my martial arts instructor concerning a present he had
been given. He commented on the tag that
many of us are quick to discard. It
stated, “This garment has been specially made with the finest materials
available, constructed by skilled craftsmen. Any variations are what make this
garment unique and should not be considered flaws or imperfections.” For me, this cemented the idea that it is our
uniqueness that makes us great. So why
do many of us focus on those individual qualities people have and use them to
degrade or humiliate? Personally, I
believe there is no simple answer to this question, but a good starting point
would be to look at our language and beliefs.
Specifically, we need to move away from the idea of tolerance and
embrace the practice of acceptance.
Consider the two definitions.
Merriam
Webster defines tolerance as: The “capacity to endure
pain or hardship” or “sympathy or indulgence for beliefs or practices differing
from or conflicting with one's own”
Is it really that hard to
accept someone who is different? Do we need
to feel sympathy for them? Is it
actually painful to interact with someone who has differing viewpoints? Throughout our nation’s history, it has been
the interactions of those with differing beliefs that has made us great through
discussion, debate, and recognizing individual skill sets. As Voltaire
put it, tolerance “is the consequence of humanity. We are all formed of frailty
and error; let us pardon reciprocally each other's folly - that is the first law
of nature.”
Conversely, Merriam
Webster defines acceptance as: “Agreeing either expressly or by conduct to
the act or offer of another…,” “the
fact of being accepted,” or “the quality or state of being accepted or acceptable.”
We get to
this agreement by not just tolerating others, but understanding that they are
an individual like ourselves with skills, beliefs, and circumstances that may
be unknown to us. According to Nathaniel
Branden, “The first step toward change is awareness. The second step is
acceptance.”
Why don’t we
strive for acceptance rather than tolerance?
We tolerate decisions/answers with which we do not agree, issues that
are forced upon us for no reason of our own making, and situations that arise
on a daily basis. We should look to
accepting that people are different and for that matter, valuable. After all, wouldn’t we hope that someone isn’t
just tolerating our presence?
References
Arouet, F. (2013, March 24). Brainy
quote. Retrieved from
http://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/quotes/v/voltaire107394.html
Branden, N. (2013, March 24). Brainy
quote. Retrieved from
http://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/quotes/n/nathanielb163773.html
Webster, M. (2013, March 24). Definition
of tolerance. Retrieved from http://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/tolerance
Webster, M. (2013, March 24). Definition
of tolerance. Retrieved from
http://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/acceptance
